How are you so nice all the time? That is a question I do not get asked, but it's something I pose to myself sometimes, and I figure some of my readers think that but are too polite to say it out loud. So I'm going to answer that unasked question and relieve you all of any lingering doubts about my own mental well-being.
The first thing to clarify is that I am not nice all the time. I am pleasant when other people are around or visiting me. As any CNA here will tell you, there are plenty of times I am very cranky, bitchy, or endlessly picky. Nobody can be nice all the time, or at least it would not be healthy to have only one mood. I assure you that there are many colors in my rainbow, but I like that the main one is bright and cheery.
I've mentioned before that many years ago I realized I would be justified in being angry and resentful that I was disabled, but that wouldn't serve me very well. I increasingly needed help from others, and it was in my own best interest to be pleasant to be around. I also believe your mood affects your health, so I would not only be a nice person but a healthy one as well.
I've also mentioned that the more you are pleasant, the easier it is to maintain that demeanor. It has long since become second nature to me, so now it feels awkward not to be nice. Angry takes too much energy and becomes too draining. Sad comes up on its own when something touches me or I hear music I like. That happens nearly every day, so you can see I have plenty of variations to my state of mind.
One thing I have noticed being around a lot of people who are not in their right mind is that those people do not have the capacity to be patient. Their field of vision does not extend beyond themselves, and they are not capable of empathy. I, therefore, try to make up for it by being a patient who is always capable of waiting. (It's also a good way of endearing me to my CNA.)
With that in mind, it's very interesting to see how our president handles his affairs. While I do not believe he is in the throes of full mental illness, the fact that he is an advanced septuagenarian might mean there is some level of age-related dementia starting to rear its head. His selfishness and lack of empathy fit in perfectly with the people around me who require 24-hour care and are not allowed to make decisions on their own.
And that thought brings me to the dilemma of maintaining a positive attitude during difficult times. It's so easy to sink into despair or to isolate from current events and hide from what's going on. That isn't helpful, and it certainly won't change anything. There are pockets of hope and people working for change, so find and support them. This quote from anthropologist Margaret Mead is endlessly inspiring to me:
"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."
As much as I might want to give up, I have lived long enough to see that life is cyclical. If things suck right now, at some point they won't anymore. I am committed to shining my light as brightly as I can so that truth and justice can find their way back to the American way.
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