“Sexy Beast” - 7/14-20/25

Monday, July 14th

The doctor changed my catheter this morning!! I was really eager for this to happen as for some reason the old catheter had been a little stiffer then it usually was and it was extremely uncomfortable. I stuck it out for the five weeks I had it in me but I was more than ready to get rid of it. I had talked to my head nurse and she made sure that the new catheter was nice and flexible. She will make sure all my catheters are the same in the future.

I rallied hard for this movie as I had just watched it and loved it again. I wanted to make sure it wasn't too violent for Mom. And it wasn't. That is to say there is not a great amount of onscreen violence, but the film is extremely menacing. Ben Kingsley is excellent as an extremely intimidating organized criminal who pressures Ray Winstone into participating in one more job. There are multiple scenes where you could cut the tension with a knife. It was also one of M's favorites as well! I highly recommend it!

Tuesday, July 15th

I got retested by my nutritionist which happens every three months. I had just restarted taking her supplements after a break. I convinced my family to let me go all out with them so I could help my body heal from whatever it was going through. Of course, I look fine on the outside so my family don't understand why it costs so much and what the pills are even doing.

I can understand that but what I am learning about myself over the years is that I am rather sensitive to things. Well, that's true and it's not at the same time. I can cheat with foods I know it's not good for me to eat and seem OK but I know it will catch up with me if I keep doing it. My nutritionist got that there is something fungal happening with me. I also have allergies to some of the foods I eat, but there's not much I can do about that while I am dependent on eating the hospital food.

I have a rash on the bottom of my left thigh and that seems like the fungal stuff making itself very apparent. The doctor tried two different ointments after the powder wasn't making it go away. Both made the rash much worse so we are back to the powder. That dries up the rash and makes it look better, but it just comes back when they stop the powder. This is a good test to see how the supplements affect it.

Wednesday, July 16th

It was a busy morning today as I had a shower and then got up in the chair so I could go downstairs for the resident council meeting. That was good and we all got a malasada which is a kind of doughnut without a hole. Who doesn't like sweet fried dough? I ended up eating that instead of my lunch because I knew J&B were bringing a meal from Taco Bell and I wanted that for lunch.

Since I was up in my chair, we went down the hall to the solarium with the amazing view and they gave me the Cantina chicken bowl there. It was perfect for me as there were no tortillas or chips included. Seasoned chicken, rice, beans, cheese and all the goodies that go with it. Delicious! I've never really been a huge fan of Taco Bell but that was good.

We also ended up sitting around and talking about life for a while. We are all very happy to exchange ideas with one another and we had a great time. I am so lucky they like visiting me and are generous enough to bring me something I like!

Thursday, July 17th

Dr. R brought Freddie in his stroller and sat him next to my bed for a whole hour before our appointment. He didn't even sit up but I liked knowing he was next to me. When Dr. R eventually showed up, she took him out of the stroller and put him on the bed. He adamantly did not want to get out of his safe space and struggled mightily to get back. He laid down for a couple minutes, to appease mom and gather his strength. When he started struggling again she let him jump back in. I didn't see him for the rest of the time.

I don't think that will change until I am able to reconnect with him. I have just been too lazy to do that. So our connection is in the past tense right now. I'm glad I don't need more from him right now.

Friday, July 18th

A, the sister of my sister’s best friend, came by this morning to help me do hand exercises for my left hand. These are the Feldenkrais exercises I was learning from the German lady earlier in the year. Luckily, we had videotaped every time she came so I played one of those tapes and she followed along very well. That will help a lot in keeping my hand about to move and function properly. And I am enjoying getting to know her and vice versa.

Saturday, July 19th

I was very excited to get sushi from Whole Foods today. I am really liking their California roll with shrimp instead of crab and the way they use brown rice instead of white sometimes. I also really like how they use a lot of vegetables instead of more traditional ingredients. My sister got me the Cal roll with shrimp and for the second roll it was a Hawaiian roll with vegetables. There was a nice piece of either tuna or salmon with a thin piece of avocado next to it around a bundle of sliced carrots and cucumber with a big chunk of avocado wrapped in rice paper. Very tasty and I didn't miss the rice at all! Yum! I'll be looking for that again!

Mom then showed up so she and my sister could both talk to me about my rash. I have to fight to suppress the feeling I am being ganged up on. I just calmly listened to everything they said and did not roll my eyes. I am just not worried about this rash because it is one of the numerous minor things that come up for me and then eventually heal and disappear. I think mom somehow wants my life to be free of any problems. There are so many things that come and go in my life, I am just not going to get excited about a rash.

She left after we talked and I got to have some alone time with my sister, which is always nice for both of us.

Sunday, July 20th

I really enjoyed my sushi for breakfast this morning. My helper K gave me a shower by herself. I used to get nervous if it was anyone other than two CNAs who gave me a shower almost exclusively for the first two years I was here. This is the second time for K and it was nice because I could ask her to get every place I needed washed.

Mom showed up around 11 a.m. after church. My helper Brett had given the sermon because the regular rector was away on vacation. I wish I could have seen that, but of course he had been urging me to tell him when to broadcast the church service and I had dropped the ball on that. It's just difficult to coordinate Sunday morning with the shower and unfortunately that is always going to take priority.

M took a picture of Mom and me today so I would have something to post for the blog. I think he took almost the exact same picture a few weeks ago, but what the hell. Have a fabulous week everyone!