“Out of Sight” 7/28-8/3/25

Wednesday, July 30th

B was feeling OK, but now J wasn't well this week. Boo-hoo! I miss seeing them, but I will look forward to them both feeling good and seeing me another time! Mom texted asking if there was anything she could do for me for my reunions but as I had my clothes set, that was about all I needed.

Thursday, July 31st

Finally! Reunion Day is here! My best daytime CNA, M, put me in a shirt as I would not get up until after lunch and I didn't want to lie in bed with my dress on all day. After lunch she got me in the chair and I waited for my sister to arrive and apply some make up on me. She got here and made me pretty and we went downstairs to wait for TheCab. Our favorite driver was on duty and dropped us off at the front entrance to the school.

I should have come early to go on a tour of the campus but I didn't want to have to miss things because they weren't accessible. One of my friends said everything was pretty accessible so I probably should've gone. Next time. I had seen a lot of the changes at the last reunion and my main thought was, ‘I want to have gone to school the way it is now!.’ The tables were set up under a massive tent and each table was labeled with a class year. There were 700 alumni so with everyone's +1 that makes 1400 people total.

My sister got dinner for both of us since at this point she needs to feed me. I did not realize it at the time, but I carried on our family’s tradition of assuming everything and not bothering to actually communicate with the other person. So my sister came back with a plate that I looked at and thought, ’well that's not a lot of food.’ But of course I didn't say anything. The chicken was very yummy and the fish, as is typical for large scale cooking, was overcooked. I did not get enough to eat, but then I assumed that it was hard for her to go back and get more food so I didn't say anything.

It was more about seeing people anyway. Unfortunately, it was difficult to move around so I only saw the people that came up to me. It was also very noisy. Most of my life I have been told I was too loud. Not now! My lung capacity has gone down and I was barely able to speak above a whisper. Very irritating! The typical comment from people was that they were happy that I could make it. Of course! There was never any question in my mind that I would not show up. Duh.

Friday, August 1st

I got ready just like I did yesterday with my sister doing my make up again. I somehow was assuming that the restaurant would be quieter than the tent last night. I was wrong. And then my sister did not want to stop and talk to people as we went into the restaurant because I would be blocking the way. Crap! I really would have liked to have gone a little bit slower and said hi to people in a way I could have seen them better. We got through the crowd and made it to a table in the far corner so only waiters were walking past us.

Some people did come over and specifically say hi to me. I guess it shows my own insecurity as I have perpetually felt like I am on the outside looking at lots of other people having a good time without me. My sister went and got food and came back with two plates that I looked at and thought, ‘that's kinda small for me, what are you going to eat?’ They had slices of beef, prime rib?, with horseradish sauce and slices of sashimi but no soy sauce. Again, it wasn't enough to begin to fill me up and it certainly wasn't worth the money I had shelled out for this night, I thought hangrily.

Again, I didn't say anything but assumed the food would be running low and my sister didn't want to go get more food for me. Assuming works really well if you like being silently angry and holding things in. I know she does lots for me so I don't want to complain. 

I did force her to take me across the room to another little sitting area. There, I saw a classmate who is now an occupational therapist and said she would visit me at my hospital! Wonderful! I hung around there and watched the slideshow and said hi to other people. I saw another classmate who said he lived close to my hospital and would come say hi. Great! As we were leaving, another classmate leaned in and said that I inspire people with my blog. Fabulous! That's the point!

So overall it was a wonderful night despite my best efforts to sabotage myself. I got in bed before the evening shift started at 11 PM. That's important because there are only two CNAs and one nurse for the entire floor and they would really not want to spend time putting me to bed. That was fun!

Saturday, August 2nd

I was tired after my big nights out so I purposefully did nothing all day. My sister did not visit me as she had to make up some of the time she spent with me during the week on work. I watched stuff all day and got to bed early.

Sunday, August 3rd

Mom came by after church to give me lunch and hear about the reunions. Unfortunately for her, I was full of the anger about the food both evenings and that’s what I talked about to Mom. Mom didn't want me to criticize my sister, but I hope I made it clear that I was mad because I had not communicated well myself. My sister is not a mind reader and I don't expect her to be. I do hope we can both be better about checking in with each other and not assume anything. I can only hope the next time will go better.

I got lots of pictures with myself and my classmates. I will post photos on Facebook that my friends there can see. I don't want to assume that all my friends are OK with me posting their picture to the world on my website. Of course I will use a couple photos as my cover photo for this week and next week’s blog.

This photo was taken on Thursday before we sat down and ate dinner. Have a great week!